Saturday, May 28, 2016

Week 6 - Strengthening Your Love Map

I really loved this week’s lesson. I had the opportunity to get to know my sweet husband better and show him how much he means to me. In Dr. Gottman’s book “The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work”, he talks about what we can do to strengthen our marriages one day at a time. I had the great opportunity to test 2 activities on Jeferson, and the experience was amazing.

The first activity I did was something he called “I Appreciate…”. Basically what I had to do was find 5 things to tell Jeferson that I appreciated about him or what he did for me. Now, I wasn’t very certain that this activity would do much because Jeff isn’t the type of guy that needs to be told how much he is appreciated. Words of Affirmation is not his love language and so I didn’t really believe that anything would happen. However, I didn’t realize what it would do for me. He got shy when I would list out a bunch of things that I appreciated about him, but more than anything it was an opportunity for me to see how much he really does for our family.

The second activity I did was called, “Cherish Your Partner”. This activity was probably my favorite because it made me feel like I did and was doing something right in my life. With this activity I had the opportunity to list out the qualities that I loved about Jeferson and read them to him. I also got the chance to look over the lists of qualities that I wanted in a husband that I had made many years ago while in Young Women’s. It was comforting to me to see that the qualities that I wanted in a husband are the qualities that I now have in a husband.

Gottman said something in his book that really stuck with me and that is,


“From knowledge springs not only love but the fortitude to weather marital storms. Couples who have details love maps of each other’s world are far better prepared to cope with stressful events and conflict.”


I know that as I strengthen my relationship with my husband and get to know him better and better each day then we will be able to get through anything in our life together. I am so grateful for him in my life and I want to strive each day to do those things that will strengthen our relationship, not tear it down. I challenge anyone who is reading to get to know the people in your life better; whether it is a spouse, a parent, a friend, or a roommate. Get to know them. I know that the more we do this the better out relationships will be with those around us.

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