Week 4 - Mastering the Genogram

     This week was quite great actually. I was able to learn a little bit more about my family and the relationships that we all have with one another. The hardest thing for me was trying to list everyone out. I come from a very large family and so it wasn’t easy remembering how many siblings my father had and how many children each of them had. However, it made me want to try harder in my family relationships as I did this project. As I looked at this project and I saw what kind of relationships each of my family members had with their own family, it made me want to try harder and be the best that I can be. I’m not always perfect, but I will try my best to speak with kind words and develop strong and healthy family bonds with one another.

     In the reading we learn from Elder Benson how important it is to teach our families about the temple. We especially need to teach our children the importance of going to the temple in their youth and teaching them good habits now so that when they get older, they will be more encouraged to marry in the temple as well. As I did the genogram project, I was struck by how many members of my family did not want to get married in the temple. For me, growing up, it was always the option for getting married. I didn’t want any other type of wedding or marriage. I just wanted to marry my prince charming in the temple and call it good. A lot of my family doesn’t think the same things.

     

     I know that as we attend the temple now and teach our children the importance of the temple that we will be immensely blessed. Heavenly Father will take care of us and make sure that we have all that we need to be successful.

Week 3 - Defending Marriage

President Nelson, when talking about defending marriage, said:

“As partners, you and your spouse will work together to achieve mutual goals and enjoy the fruits of your labors.”

 I love this. When you get married one of the hardest things to do is to learn to be a team instead of 1 individual. When my husband and I got married that was really hard for me. I grew up as an independent person. I like being by myself and doing things by myself. It wasn’t until my husband sat me down and talked to me about wanting to be able to help me with little things did I realize that I wasn’t including him as much as I should. Now, that’s not to say that I have to let him do everything for me, but it does mean that I need to let him in a little more than I was at the time.

After my husband and I got married we talked about some of our individual goals that we had for ourselves. After we talked about our individual goals we talked about what we could do to help each other attain those goals. One of my husband’s goals was to graduate with his Bachelor’s and to get his Master’s degree as fast as he could. Now he is finishing up his Master’s degree and will graduate next April. I love that we were able to work together to accomplish our individual goals. One of the most important discussions though was goals that we wanted to make together for our families. We talked, and still do, about those goals.

President Nelson also said:

“True partners can achieve more than the sum of each acting alone. With true partners, one plus one is much more than two”.

I absolutely love this, as it has always been my hope and dream that my husband and I become “true partners”. Growing up neither my husband nor I had very good examples of a healthy marriage. My husband’s parents are in the middle of a pretty nasty divorce, and my parents fight all the time. One of the things that we wanted was to make sure that even though we may disagree with things, we want to always work together for our family’s sake. I want my children to know that their mom and dad are true partners.

I know that as my husband and I work together to accomplish our goals and put each other first in our marriage then we will be true partners. I know that together we can accomplish more than we could being separate. I’m so grateful for President Nelson and his inspiring words to make me a better wife and mother.

Lastly, I want to conclude with my most favorite quote from President Nelson's talk that really hit me. He said:

“Instead of concentrating on what you are to do, now is the time to zero in on who you are to be—on that person you are yet to become, as President Worthen explained so well. Now is the time for you to focus on developing great attributes of character.”

I want to challenge all who read this blog post to look inward and see the person you are becoming. Are you happy with that person? Are you the person that you have always wanted to be? If the answer is “no” then you need to see what changes need to be made in your life so that you can be the person that you always wanted to be. If you are married work with your spouse to create goals for your family and work together as husband and wife to accomplish those goals. If you are not married work on some goals that you have for yourself and look for someone who shares those goals. I know that as we do these things then our marriages will be full of love and happiness. I truly believe that this is what our Heavenly Father wants for us!

Week 2 - Having a Healthy Marriage

In a world where the family is constantly being attacked and marriage is being compromised, we have to do our part to preserve our families. In the midst of gathering evil, there are a couple of things that we can do to make sure our families make it.

Growing up, I always thought that marriage was so easy and I never understood why so many marriages ended in divorce. Now that I have grown up and have been married for 4 years now, I realize that marriage is really hard and it takes a lot of work! One thing that I know helps us to preserve our family and our marriage is relying on the Lord. When we were first married we heard about the Marriage Triangle.

As you can see, the closer you both draw to Heavenly Father, the closer you come together as husband and wife. When my husband and I heard of this, we decided that this is exactly what we would do. I know that as we as husband and wife draw closer to God, our relationship with each other will be so much better. In turn, that relationship will then affect our children. I have noticed that husbands and wives who have good relationships with each other, also have good relationships with their children.

Another thing that we can do to preserve our families is making sure that we do all the little things. This would include; holding family prayer and scripture study, FHE, and regular church attendance. These little things will keep the spirit in your home and in your hearts. It’s not always an easy task, but I know that as we do it, we will reap the blessings for the rest of our lives.

After all this, if someone came up to me and asked me what I thought about the Church’s position on divorce, I would have a couple things to say. The first one would be that I personally don’t believe in divorce. I think there are few reasons to leave someone that you committed your life and eternity to and all others can be worked out. Elder Faust talked about “just cause” for getting a divorce. He stated that only the couple themselves can decide what that reason is, but not matter what they choose they have to bear the responsibility of that. I don’t personally think that divorce is a good thing, but at the same time if someone is in a marriage that is not happy and they have tried to work it out then I wouldn’t say that it’s a bad choice either. However, whatever a couple decides it is their decision and they shouldn’t be judged for that.

        I will do everything I can to make sure that my family is happy and safe. I am committed to making sure that I do the little things every day to make sure that my marriage is the best that it can be. That’s not to say that we won’t have bad days sometimes, but if we are doing everything that we can to draw closer to God then we will have more good days than bad days.